God is at work in the Kandel home.....
I am not judging anyone who doesn't have faith, I just don't understand it. When I look back at my life or even this past week, some things simply can't be a coincidence.
Our needs are being met on so many levels!
Mr. and Mrs. Bittle have allowed us to use a sauna they had purchased years ago to our home for Kylie to use. She loves it and asks for it all the time. In my head I thought I would have to create it as part of her "stretching" each day and build it in a daily routine..not the case.
My mom called me last week and said Willo'Dell nursery called her. Every year they look for a "cause" and wondered if she new anyone. She shared Kylie's story with them and so over memorial day weekend with them providing all the food, we will set up at Willo'Dell and all proceeds of food bought will go towards her fund. I had a busy week and to be honest..........I didn't know how I was going to find the time to line up workers over memorial day. It worked out and after a few calls, I have wonderful friends willing to donate their time to help.
Jill White sent me a beautiful song a few weeks ago, it touched my heart. Who knew a few weeks later it would be used in a video we made.....Jennifer Shaw-Your Child
Ben Roby, bless his heart as put together a video of Kylie. He did a marvelous job and we are excited to roll it out within this week, it shares our story. I told Pastor Jeff that although it is important to share Kylie's story for multiple reasons, repeating is not something I like to talk about over and over. The idea of the video came in and it is complete. One problem............Kylie is stuck on watching it...........over and over and over. She is smart, we explain to her when we go to the doctor so it isn't like the video is "new news". Our house is not handicap accessible and we need to make it that way to for her. We also need to provide daily aqua therapy for her. People ask how I am going to find time for everything. We are up by 4:30 on a good day, I will be just fine! I am a warrior :)
I went for a run this week with what I like to call my "new friend". I felt like I knew her for years and we had a great chat during our run. I received a phone call later that day and she said her daughter may be interested in sitting for Kylie during the summer during the times Katelyn isn't. She came over and hung out with the kids. Then she came over Friday night for some pizza, had her first sitting session yesterday morning. Corey kept telling me I needed to be more "proactive" in finding additional support for Kylie and I have been dragging my feet for some reason. I don't know why, I just was. It all worked out. I work all year so here we are in May and I had not finalized the plans for the summer. Those of you who know me know this is highly unusual because I like to have my little ducklings in a row.
I wish I had some beautiful way to present how things are coming together but it is what it is and I am grateful. I have not only been provided with "material" things but "people" who influence me and challenge my thinking in ways I hadn't thought of before...........I am grateful.
I don't go back and reread my blogs so I may repeat some things, sorry. The house is awake and it is time to prepare breakfast.
Thanks for those who continue to touch our lives and for loving us. We are blessed!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
You never know who is listening-
It has been a while since I wrote! So much is happening that I keep thinking I just need "time" to get everything down on paper; however I am quickly realizing that is more difficult with my busy life. At night, I will be honest...........sleep is on my mind.
Last week was Dad's birthday. Memories of him flooded me and it gave me a sense of peace. I had to visit Pioneer for work on his birthday and they have a plaque of him in their hallway. Mom sent me flowers for good luck for the marathon on his birthday. We took the kids to the cemetary and I told stories (answer a few interesting questions too) but over all it was good. My husband, the man who is quiet was wonderful. I could feel his hand rest on my back throughout the week as a gentle reminder that he was here...........for whatever I needed.
KYLIE's ANGELS- You never know who is listening..... Jen called me before we left for the marathon on Saturday. She stated the kids had something to give me. I thought it was a goody bag which I was delighted about. We met at the soccer field because Pax had a game. The kids had overheard our conversation about Kylie's recent diagnosis and told Jen they wanted to help. We will be adding on a handicap accessible addition to our home. They decided they would share her story and work around the neighborhood to help. 2 weeks later, they raised $610 dollars for her. My eyes filled with tears as I hugged the kids. Doesn't happen often but I felt speechless. Then Jen told me two parents from Sophies class called because she was sharing the story. People are amazing! Ben Roby is coming over tonight to create a video of the journey we are on and we are grateful for him. It is a tough story to rehearse in your mind and outloud so we thought we would just use our modern day technology to share it once. People can watch if they want!
Marathon: So 7 of us headed out on Saturday to pick up our packets, head to the expo. I was pretty nervous and it showed. The girls did a good job of being patient with me. My nerves were getting the best of me. I was up most of the night thinking about running 26.2 miles. I kid you not when I say the moment I crossed the start line was the moment it started raining. The moment I finished, it stopped. It was almost "freaky". Stephanie Mcfrederick and I ran the first 8 miles together and Andrea jumped in towards the end of the race. I kept hearing I would "hit a wall" at some point and I also thought the last two miles I would get this big adreniline rush and want to take off............yeah I didn't. I couldn't have done it honestly without the help of the girls........all my running buddies. Four months of training paid off. My knee hurt for 1/2 mile and the pain went away. I felt good, tired, but good! By the end I was running through the puddles instead of around...........that just took too much effort! I finished in 3:56:50 which is under four...which was my secret goal. When everyone asked I would say it was just to finish but I knew in my head I wanted under four. Just didn't believe in myself I could actually do it. My pace was 9:02..............which drives me crazy! I choked on a gel at one point and had to stop for a minute............if I wouldn't have walked through that water stop bla bla bla I would have been in the eights.......drives me nuts. It is stupid it drives me nuts because my goal was under four and it was accomplished. The best was falling into Corey's arms at the finish...mainly because I could barely walk :). My toenails are almost off and blisters everywhere........it was worth it! At work, my awesome boss brought in bagels and fruit to celebrate.....meant a lot to me! I tried to run yesterday and didn't make it very far. My body is begging me to take a break so that is what I will do.
Mother Daughter Banquet- The room was filled at Jack's place for the mother daughter banquet last night. I am blessed with an amazing mom and sister. Kearstyn was all dressed up and I knew our "date night" meant the world to her. Kylie was splashing around in the bath when I left and was pretty tired. Kearstyn and I had a wonderful time and the theme was "wedding". She loved looking at the dresses and asked a lot of questions! We have a pretty neat relationship and I value our date nights. I have two daugthers though..........and only one was with me. My mind went to Kylie throughout the bridal fashion show realzing that she probably won't ever be a bride. Megan Studer had Kylie in her wedding a few years back and it still gives me chills when I think about the experience. She included her in such a special day of her life and even after years from that event, it still means the world to us. I would be lying if I didn't admit that a small part of me was filled with grief last night for her. Mom's of kids with disabilities go through a grief cycle.........more on that later too!
No proof reading..........written from the heart in 10 minutes...........time for work :)
Last week was Dad's birthday. Memories of him flooded me and it gave me a sense of peace. I had to visit Pioneer for work on his birthday and they have a plaque of him in their hallway. Mom sent me flowers for good luck for the marathon on his birthday. We took the kids to the cemetary and I told stories (answer a few interesting questions too) but over all it was good. My husband, the man who is quiet was wonderful. I could feel his hand rest on my back throughout the week as a gentle reminder that he was here...........for whatever I needed.
KYLIE's ANGELS- You never know who is listening..... Jen called me before we left for the marathon on Saturday. She stated the kids had something to give me. I thought it was a goody bag which I was delighted about. We met at the soccer field because Pax had a game. The kids had overheard our conversation about Kylie's recent diagnosis and told Jen they wanted to help. We will be adding on a handicap accessible addition to our home. They decided they would share her story and work around the neighborhood to help. 2 weeks later, they raised $610 dollars for her. My eyes filled with tears as I hugged the kids. Doesn't happen often but I felt speechless. Then Jen told me two parents from Sophies class called because she was sharing the story. People are amazing! Ben Roby is coming over tonight to create a video of the journey we are on and we are grateful for him. It is a tough story to rehearse in your mind and outloud so we thought we would just use our modern day technology to share it once. People can watch if they want!
Marathon: So 7 of us headed out on Saturday to pick up our packets, head to the expo. I was pretty nervous and it showed. The girls did a good job of being patient with me. My nerves were getting the best of me. I was up most of the night thinking about running 26.2 miles. I kid you not when I say the moment I crossed the start line was the moment it started raining. The moment I finished, it stopped. It was almost "freaky". Stephanie Mcfrederick and I ran the first 8 miles together and Andrea jumped in towards the end of the race. I kept hearing I would "hit a wall" at some point and I also thought the last two miles I would get this big adreniline rush and want to take off............yeah I didn't. I couldn't have done it honestly without the help of the girls........all my running buddies. Four months of training paid off. My knee hurt for 1/2 mile and the pain went away. I felt good, tired, but good! By the end I was running through the puddles instead of around...........that just took too much effort! I finished in 3:56:50 which is under four...which was my secret goal. When everyone asked I would say it was just to finish but I knew in my head I wanted under four. Just didn't believe in myself I could actually do it. My pace was 9:02..............which drives me crazy! I choked on a gel at one point and had to stop for a minute............if I wouldn't have walked through that water stop bla bla bla I would have been in the eights.......drives me nuts. It is stupid it drives me nuts because my goal was under four and it was accomplished. The best was falling into Corey's arms at the finish...mainly because I could barely walk :). My toenails are almost off and blisters everywhere........it was worth it! At work, my awesome boss brought in bagels and fruit to celebrate.....meant a lot to me! I tried to run yesterday and didn't make it very far. My body is begging me to take a break so that is what I will do.
Mother Daughter Banquet- The room was filled at Jack's place for the mother daughter banquet last night. I am blessed with an amazing mom and sister. Kearstyn was all dressed up and I knew our "date night" meant the world to her. Kylie was splashing around in the bath when I left and was pretty tired. Kearstyn and I had a wonderful time and the theme was "wedding". She loved looking at the dresses and asked a lot of questions! We have a pretty neat relationship and I value our date nights. I have two daugthers though..........and only one was with me. My mind went to Kylie throughout the bridal fashion show realzing that she probably won't ever be a bride. Megan Studer had Kylie in her wedding a few years back and it still gives me chills when I think about the experience. She included her in such a special day of her life and even after years from that event, it still means the world to us. I would be lying if I didn't admit that a small part of me was filled with grief last night for her. Mom's of kids with disabilities go through a grief cycle.........more on that later too!
No proof reading..........written from the heart in 10 minutes...........time for work :)
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Caller ID can paralyze me
What an interesting week-
I took Kearstyn to Secret Keeper. It was a girls night. We went out to dinner and then went to listen to a speaker. The main idea was to teacher girls about modesty and beauty in the eyes of God. At one point the speaker told us moms to turn to our daughters and ask them what they struggle with. I felt so connected to her, looked in her eyes, was super excited to pray with her. I asked what she struggled with and her reply was "what does struggle mean"? Then she proceeds to tell me she wishes we had a tv as big as the screen at the church in our home.....After a short intervention (teacher friends should be laughing), she was back on track and ready to roll...
Later that night I joined many other runners at the Stadium to run for Boston. It was amazing how united with the community I felt. Hard to explain!
We had Kylie's IEP meeting. It was tough as expected and unfortunately we didn't complete it. I do feel blessed with a few of the individuals that are so invested in Kylie. I just wish I could have sat and talked with them longer. I did have to take a break. Corey is great, we walked outside had a quick chat, and I was ready to return to the meeting. One of the teachers did not say 1 positive thing about her. How do you have a conference about a child and not say one positive thing? I could feel a lump in my throat as I waited...but that moment never came. Thankfully there were others who I know love her so I have been trying to focus on the positive.
Right after that we had to head to Cleveland for a doctor's apt. Stryker and Kylie did pretty well but both were hungry by the time we left. Getting lost in downtown Cleveland didn't help. Why is it men will not ask for directions? We have to adjust one of her medications, but hopefully it will help her with her nervousness. She has been really struggling with transitions lately. She hasn't wanted Corey or I to leave the house. We try to schedule date nights and she used to shove us out the door, not anymore. It make leaving a little more difficult.
Friday my phone buzzed and I looked down. It is amazing how caller ID can stop you in your tracks. I knew the number, I know it well. I am sure we all have those numbers we don't like popping up and numbers we can't wait to see. We have numbers we try to avoid and numbers we feel the need to answer. It is human nature, but when the hospital calls, it stops me in my tracks. So after and IEP meeting, doctors appointment, crazy late evening with carebear, trying to plan for the addition, craziness with the Boston Marathon, work business, this call was the LAST thing I wanted.
It was another doctor's office stating they really think we need to start Kylie on this medicine we have been avoiding due to side effects. More lab results were read to me on the phone. I wish I would have let it go to voicemail. Maybe just not knowing over the weekend would have been ok. I cuddled with Kylie and Strkyer this afternoon. Her muscles ache today and she just wanted them rubbed. She finally fell asleep and I just found myself staring at her for an hour. Decisions are so tough. I feel like the weight of the world is on me to make the right decisions for her as far as supporting her health needs and I just don't know which way to go. I will explain more later. This post is getting long and I can feel the lump in my throat return and my heart beating fast just thinking about it. Corey and I seem to talk in circles about the pros and cons of the medicine. I am just glad we continue to talk about our options. We have this weird trust and respect for each other so we just keep banking on the other one to make the "final call". It is one of those times neither of us want to make what could be a fatal mistake. I do think though we will both know when we need to move forward with the medicine, at least I hope so. I know I sound confusing........it is because I am confused :)
My first marathon is next weekend. I had my last longer run at 8 miles today with Julie, Andrea, Sarah, and Stephanie. That actually seems really short to me after three 20 milers! They have so much confidence in me and I hope my confidence builds after next weekend. I am pretty nervous right now. Running is so freeing and it is something positive I can focus on. I hope to start a team for Kylie this summer too! I have talked to a few friends about it and one person said she would be honored to wear a shirt and sponsor her. It made me really happy. I just need to think of an awesome team name! Ideas are welcome!
I had somebody text me this week saying it sounded like things were busy.........I am not sure what I would do if they weren't. Each story, each of my awesome children, each moment is an experience crafting me as a mother, wife, and friend.
Corey's parents just came. His dad is awesome at holding me accountable because he hates when I answer my phone or text when they are visiting. So I will now log off, put my phone away, and enjoy my amazing family.
Caller ID won't paralyze me tonight
What an interesting week-
I took Kearstyn to Secret Keeper. It was a girls night. We went out to dinner and then went to listen to a speaker. The main idea was to teacher girls about modesty and beauty in the eyes of God. At one point the speaker told us moms to turn to our daughters and ask them what they struggle with. I felt so connected to her, looked in her eyes, was super excited to pray with her. I asked what she struggled with and her reply was "what does struggle mean"? Then she proceeds to tell me she wishes we had a tv as big as the screen at the church in our home.....After a short intervention (teacher friends should be laughing), she was back on track and ready to roll...
Later that night I joined many other runners at the Stadium to run for Boston. It was amazing how united with the community I felt. Hard to explain!
We had Kylie's IEP meeting. It was tough as expected and unfortunately we didn't complete it. I do feel blessed with a few of the individuals that are so invested in Kylie. I just wish I could have sat and talked with them longer. I did have to take a break. Corey is great, we walked outside had a quick chat, and I was ready to return to the meeting. One of the teachers did not say 1 positive thing about her. How do you have a conference about a child and not say one positive thing? I could feel a lump in my throat as I waited...but that moment never came. Thankfully there were others who I know love her so I have been trying to focus on the positive.
Right after that we had to head to Cleveland for a doctor's apt. Stryker and Kylie did pretty well but both were hungry by the time we left. Getting lost in downtown Cleveland didn't help. Why is it men will not ask for directions? We have to adjust one of her medications, but hopefully it will help her with her nervousness. She has been really struggling with transitions lately. She hasn't wanted Corey or I to leave the house. We try to schedule date nights and she used to shove us out the door, not anymore. It make leaving a little more difficult.
Friday my phone buzzed and I looked down. It is amazing how caller ID can stop you in your tracks. I knew the number, I know it well. I am sure we all have those numbers we don't like popping up and numbers we can't wait to see. We have numbers we try to avoid and numbers we feel the need to answer. It is human nature, but when the hospital calls, it stops me in my tracks. So after and IEP meeting, doctors appointment, crazy late evening with carebear, trying to plan for the addition, craziness with the Boston Marathon, work business, this call was the LAST thing I wanted.
It was another doctor's office stating they really think we need to start Kylie on this medicine we have been avoiding due to side effects. More lab results were read to me on the phone. I wish I would have let it go to voicemail. Maybe just not knowing over the weekend would have been ok. I cuddled with Kylie and Strkyer this afternoon. Her muscles ache today and she just wanted them rubbed. She finally fell asleep and I just found myself staring at her for an hour. Decisions are so tough. I feel like the weight of the world is on me to make the right decisions for her as far as supporting her health needs and I just don't know which way to go. I will explain more later. This post is getting long and I can feel the lump in my throat return and my heart beating fast just thinking about it. Corey and I seem to talk in circles about the pros and cons of the medicine. I am just glad we continue to talk about our options. We have this weird trust and respect for each other so we just keep banking on the other one to make the "final call". It is one of those times neither of us want to make what could be a fatal mistake. I do think though we will both know when we need to move forward with the medicine, at least I hope so. I know I sound confusing........it is because I am confused :)
My first marathon is next weekend. I had my last longer run at 8 miles today with Julie, Andrea, Sarah, and Stephanie. That actually seems really short to me after three 20 milers! They have so much confidence in me and I hope my confidence builds after next weekend. I am pretty nervous right now. Running is so freeing and it is something positive I can focus on. I hope to start a team for Kylie this summer too! I have talked to a few friends about it and one person said she would be honored to wear a shirt and sponsor her. It made me really happy. I just need to think of an awesome team name! Ideas are welcome!
I had somebody text me this week saying it sounded like things were busy.........I am not sure what I would do if they weren't. Each story, each of my awesome children, each moment is an experience crafting me as a mother, wife, and friend.
Corey's parents just came. His dad is awesome at holding me accountable because he hates when I answer my phone or text when they are visiting. So I will now log off, put my phone away, and enjoy my amazing family.
Caller ID won't paralyze me tonight
Friday, April 12, 2013
I sat last night with grown men around my table planning and preparing for Kylie's future in our home. They weren't here because they had to be, they didn't design a plan because they had to. They are invested in her because they care. There are a lot of things Kylie struggles with, but that kid knows when she is truly loved. She smiled shyly as she hugged them and talked with them. I couldn't hold back the tears as we shared our journey with these men. They took the time to hear us. It wasn't a passing in the hall of "how are you" "I am thinking of you". It was an effort just to be here, to be present, to open their hearts to our family. It was amazing. I could feel their compassion and support for not only Kylie, but all my wonderful children and my marriage. The timing was perfect. After a draining day, I felt at peace.
We are all on this journey called "life" and it is amazing how your sense of peace can be so quickly shaken if you allow it to take over. It is IEP time for Kylie. I wonder how many hands the document went through before it got to me. Information being passed around about my child. Should we phrase it this way or that way.... I know those conversations all too well. Make sure you slide a "strength" in there. I got the infamous (what do you want for your child? What are your concerns?) paper home. Corey and I sat for a while, the formality of it all was frustrating. What should we write? We don't want her to call Grandma everyday and ask her to sing happy birthday because it really isn't? Fyi-Grandma sings to her everytime she requests it. Or when we ask her how old she is and her answer is 6, we sure wish she understood what that meant. Can you please keep her safe? Can you love her fully? Can you appreciate her beauty for all it is? Do you have any suggestions because many mornings showers hurt her skin and she screams in pain? Do you have suggestions for that? What does a parent write? We don't want to see her suffer? Oh and if you could coordinate with the doctors, the medicine, the bullying that would sure be helpful too? How about some more strategies for her being able to get dressed herself, open the toothpaste, brush her own teeth, sleep all night, eat a freaking fruit roll up without choking! Don't get me wrong, the school should ask a parent these questions...it is a wonderful fabulous thing, we just weren't sure how to respond. I was one of those who needed the wording just right. See if the wording was just right then that meant all would be well prepared for Kylie and I assumed the world would follow this magical plan we had perfectly placed on paper. Not the case at all.
It is interesting my reaction this year. This is it, the year where they mark "alternate assessment". For those of you who don't realize, this is a small percentage of students who are significantly delayed and therefore must take an "alternate test" as mandated by the state. You would think I just found out my kid was handicapped or something. I knew this day was coming, I know what it is and somehow it still stings, tugging at my heart.
I told myself not to blog tonight, not while the wound felt so deep, but in a way that is the point of the blog. I have many friends in my contacts that know and understand my words to the their core and there are others who are getting a first time glimpse of what is like to have a child with a disability. Either way, I hope to teach you something you may not have considered before and for my friends who know this world all to well...........remember you are not alone.
Weekend thoughts: Excited for my Saturday morning run with my girls! Blessed to be able to hang out with some students this week, I do miss the students in schools.I also had the opportunity to work with some amazing teachers and administrators this week. Lastly, I have some wonderful peers I work with everyday at my office and some pretty special gal pals too :) Thanks for riding the coaster with me :)
Ooh and a few more things.......My 10 year old keeps poking me saying "big belly", my 6 year old has decided she would like a tattoo because they are pretty, my 3 year old loves to tinkle outside, and my 17th month old thinks it is cool to throw things in the toilet. Free entertainment at the Kandels :)
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Sweet Sundays
I think Sundays are bittersweet. I love the family time but as the weekend comes to a close, there is a peace in knowing I will be back to a routine at work. Yesterday morning at 5:30 I fell out of bed, managed to drive in town to run my last twenty miles. I arrived at the stadium to meet a friend, looked at her and expressed how exhausted I felt. She was tired too. I got back in my car and drove home and fell back into bed.........not running as I had planned. I did end up getting my twenty miles in, 11 with Steph and 9 by myself. It is exciting and scary to know the marathon date is almost here.
I get asked often why I run, what motivation I have. It is freeing. I admit it is painful, but I feel such a sense of accomplishment when I am done that I almost crave that time.
Cayden is doing well. He has had two seizures now. Both as a result of a fever. The problem is the temps come on so fast, it is hard to prepare. The first time he had one he was in Corey's truck. They had just left the doctor office and they were on the way to the pharmacy. This past one he was at my mother in laws with Kearstyn. Kearstyn was tramatized because she saw it and the poor lil guy had to ride in the squad by himself. I was really proud of my mom in law and Kearstyn! While he was in distress, I was at Samaritan having my own tests done. Corey and I have this code that he is never to say "call me now" unless it is an emergency. So he called a few times and then text call me, which I was ignoring because I was with the technician, but then as I was walking out of the Ashland Hospital and I looked down on my phone I saw it........CALL ME NOW. I can't describe the feeling, it is the the worst feeling ever. We had to establish this code after my dad died because he was the one that came to get me when my he died and there was something in his voice. I can't really explain it. Then when Kylie was born and he would call when she was sick or rushed to the hospital. It isn't the best feeling to fear a call from your own husband but that is what our life is. Everytime he is calling to ask what time I will be home or what to ask what is for supper...........I am thankful. The seizures thankfully are a result of a fever but you forget how much it impacts simple things.......like taking a bath. I now plan on sitting in the bathroom with a cup of coffee while Cayden splashes around........just in case.
Sweet Sunday Thoughts:
The phone rang this morning and it was my mom. She offered to watch Kylie during the church hour, which was so helpful. Corey and I have been rotating our attendance because there isn't support for Ky during that time. We were pretty excited to be able to attend together. I think it was the perfect Sunday too because the sermon was about prayer and it fostered some great conversation after church. Also today Jen and I had a chance to visit for a while.
It was beautiful today so I decided to get five miles in after my walk with the girls and Megan/Owen. Sounded like a great idea but it was super windy. Kind of hard ot catch my breath but then it would stop and I could recover for a bit......I have to chuckle, kind of like my life (beautiful and windy).
P.S. I received the letter........I am healthy :) WOOHOO!!!!
Prayers for Kylie today: She is still needing some breathing treatments. Kearstyn massaged her muscles yesterday for 30 minutes. There is an amazing bond between sister and my eyes filled up with tears as I watched her talk to her and watched Kylie focused on her words..she was still...she was calm.
I think Sundays are bittersweet. I love the family time but as the weekend comes to a close, there is a peace in knowing I will be back to a routine at work. Yesterday morning at 5:30 I fell out of bed, managed to drive in town to run my last twenty miles. I arrived at the stadium to meet a friend, looked at her and expressed how exhausted I felt. She was tired too. I got back in my car and drove home and fell back into bed.........not running as I had planned. I did end up getting my twenty miles in, 11 with Steph and 9 by myself. It is exciting and scary to know the marathon date is almost here.
I get asked often why I run, what motivation I have. It is freeing. I admit it is painful, but I feel such a sense of accomplishment when I am done that I almost crave that time.
Cayden is doing well. He has had two seizures now. Both as a result of a fever. The problem is the temps come on so fast, it is hard to prepare. The first time he had one he was in Corey's truck. They had just left the doctor office and they were on the way to the pharmacy. This past one he was at my mother in laws with Kearstyn. Kearstyn was tramatized because she saw it and the poor lil guy had to ride in the squad by himself. I was really proud of my mom in law and Kearstyn! While he was in distress, I was at Samaritan having my own tests done. Corey and I have this code that he is never to say "call me now" unless it is an emergency. So he called a few times and then text call me, which I was ignoring because I was with the technician, but then as I was walking out of the Ashland Hospital and I looked down on my phone I saw it........CALL ME NOW. I can't describe the feeling, it is the the worst feeling ever. We had to establish this code after my dad died because he was the one that came to get me when my he died and there was something in his voice. I can't really explain it. Then when Kylie was born and he would call when she was sick or rushed to the hospital. It isn't the best feeling to fear a call from your own husband but that is what our life is. Everytime he is calling to ask what time I will be home or what to ask what is for supper...........I am thankful. The seizures thankfully are a result of a fever but you forget how much it impacts simple things.......like taking a bath. I now plan on sitting in the bathroom with a cup of coffee while Cayden splashes around........just in case.
Sweet Sunday Thoughts:
The phone rang this morning and it was my mom. She offered to watch Kylie during the church hour, which was so helpful. Corey and I have been rotating our attendance because there isn't support for Ky during that time. We were pretty excited to be able to attend together. I think it was the perfect Sunday too because the sermon was about prayer and it fostered some great conversation after church. Also today Jen and I had a chance to visit for a while.
It was beautiful today so I decided to get five miles in after my walk with the girls and Megan/Owen. Sounded like a great idea but it was super windy. Kind of hard ot catch my breath but then it would stop and I could recover for a bit......I have to chuckle, kind of like my life (beautiful and windy).
P.S. I received the letter........I am healthy :) WOOHOO!!!!
Prayers for Kylie today: She is still needing some breathing treatments. Kearstyn massaged her muscles yesterday for 30 minutes. There is an amazing bond between sister and my eyes filled up with tears as I watched her talk to her and watched Kylie focused on her words..she was still...she was calm.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Kandel Blog Day 1
April 5, 2013
Well this is my first attempt to blog about anything. I am not even sure what I am doing.
So whats the reason for this blog? I figured it could be free therapy, maybe entertainment for you. If you have somehow stumbled upon this page be prepared for anything. This is my place and I welcome you on our journey, but it is a place where I will be honest and true about my journey as a wife and mother. If you are one of those type A personalities........be prepared because I don't even think I will hit spell check. Being type A myself........this will actually be a challenge!
I keep being told I don't put enough detail on facebook, just hospital visit here, bla bla bla so I guess this is also a place to keep a timeline and updates about not only Kylie, but all of my family.
As you know, I love to talk..........but I think this is (almost) enough for the first post.......and I only say that because I am not sure it will even post :)
Friday thoughts: I have my last twenty mile run before my marathon in a few weeks and thinking about the race makes me want to vomit.......out of fear.
I let my phone go to voicemail twice while I was staring at it....this is an accomplishment for me. My time was better spent reading a story to my child. Embracing that quiet and quality time is something I am working on. Stillness............
Kylie got to visit with the Kish family today which was a plus. Negative: She is 10 years old and can't eat a gogurt by herself........it really makes her mad!
Kearstyn: She said today she is excited to go back to school. I am glad she loves her teacher and friends!
Cayden: They boy knows to put his tag in the back while putting on his pants, but everyday he does it and comes to me dressed........I act like it is the first time he ever did it and I continue to celebrate and praise his independence. I have realized as an adult, we also seek others to acknowledge our successess......just like a three year old :).
Colby: There is nothing like the sound of a babe saying momma in the morning from his crib because you are the one he wants to see! Okay I am not that dumb, I realize I am his way out of the crib and to freedom. Let me live in my happy bubble :)
Corey: I drove by where he was working today, he looked as gorgeous as the day I married him, my heart smiled.
Have a great weekend!
Well this is my first attempt to blog about anything. I am not even sure what I am doing.
So whats the reason for this blog? I figured it could be free therapy, maybe entertainment for you. If you have somehow stumbled upon this page be prepared for anything. This is my place and I welcome you on our journey, but it is a place where I will be honest and true about my journey as a wife and mother. If you are one of those type A personalities........be prepared because I don't even think I will hit spell check. Being type A myself........this will actually be a challenge!
I keep being told I don't put enough detail on facebook, just hospital visit here, bla bla bla so I guess this is also a place to keep a timeline and updates about not only Kylie, but all of my family.
As you know, I love to talk..........but I think this is (almost) enough for the first post.......and I only say that because I am not sure it will even post :)
Friday thoughts: I have my last twenty mile run before my marathon in a few weeks and thinking about the race makes me want to vomit.......out of fear.
I let my phone go to voicemail twice while I was staring at it....this is an accomplishment for me. My time was better spent reading a story to my child. Embracing that quiet and quality time is something I am working on. Stillness............
Kylie got to visit with the Kish family today which was a plus. Negative: She is 10 years old and can't eat a gogurt by herself........it really makes her mad!
Kearstyn: She said today she is excited to go back to school. I am glad she loves her teacher and friends!
Cayden: They boy knows to put his tag in the back while putting on his pants, but everyday he does it and comes to me dressed........I act like it is the first time he ever did it and I continue to celebrate and praise his independence. I have realized as an adult, we also seek others to acknowledge our successess......just like a three year old :).
Colby: There is nothing like the sound of a babe saying momma in the morning from his crib because you are the one he wants to see! Okay I am not that dumb, I realize I am his way out of the crib and to freedom. Let me live in my happy bubble :)
Corey: I drove by where he was working today, he looked as gorgeous as the day I married him, my heart smiled.
Have a great weekend!
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